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130 Game Reviews

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It is Sort of Like Those Shinobi Games Sega Made.

From the timed sword deflecting techniques to the crates and booby crates, this games borrow alot from games like Sega's Revenge of Shinobi, even the difficulty. It is a little too cheap sometimes. Enemies come out nowhere giving you little time to react. I would also like a password feature please. However, a game like this is one that players should stick with because the joy comes out of mastering it.

Glossy, but Shameful Rehashes.

None these play like the original. They look sprucy, but they are slippery and glitchy.
Lets take Mario Bros. 2 for instance, you abandoned Luigi but kept Toad. Now If everyone remembers Mario Bros. 2 abilities, they should remember that Toad was the strongest, and by strongest, I mean that he can pull veggies out the fastest. Big freaking deal! Whereas Toad was strong in pulling things out of the ground, he was a terrible jumper, and guess what? Jumping on platforms is the more required skill for the game, and since Mario was the second strongest and quite a good jumper, it made Toad practically useless. I'd rather play Princess Toadstool then Toad. She may not be the best when plucking out freak radishes, but man! Can she float or what! Now Luigi is a much better jumper then his brother Mario, but of course he is a wuss and cannot pick up veggies as fast. Now get this, in this level you fight Wart and apparently, you can't pick up veggies, you catch them instead. Plus, you have these platforms that you have to jump onto. So my goodness! You omit Luigi, the master of platform jumping for the nearly worthless pipsqueak who can not only not use his "power" in this stage, but also has to master jumps nearly impossible in order to end up getting hit by bubbles while sliding out of control? Well let's move on...
Double Dragon... Once again you omit a superb character, Jimmy Lee. Oh sure, Billy Lee is dandy and all but you've taken the "Double" out of Double Dragon and thats a crime so heinous that the Shadow Master and his ex: The Dark Queen would approve of it. What do you have against brunettes anyway? Can only blondes satisfy you? The Dragon Twins have spent their lives fighting the evil Shadow Master and his cohorts Abobo and Karnov. Yet, you gave them a makeover that did them no justice whatsoever. Next...
Legend of Zelda 2: Links Adventure
This one has the best look, but alas, its just not as authentic as playing the real thing, in fact, I advise all of NG to play the real gems instead of messing around with this rehashed trash. May the author develop some real love for the games he wishes to emulate and may he develop some better actionscript skills.

BoMToons responds:

I just chose them for balance: Toad=fast, short jumps, PRincess=High jumps, but slow, and Mario=middle ground. Sorry I left out the "double" in dd :P I thought Zelda 2 was the most authentic of the bunch.

Family-Friendly, Non-Violent, and a Good Joke!

Yeah, its cheap, but effective. Out of all the politicians who attack the gaming industry, conservative lawyer Jack Thompson sticks out like a sore thumb. Its quite sad really, beacause everyone can find value & merit all things by just picking up a controller and enjoying themselves with some good old campy fun. Where else can you experience the fun of getting heart sickingly obese from fast food health pick ups, or shoot cars in the park to increase weapon fire power other then the shady sides of GTA: San Andreas? Where else can you fight a villian that "reads your history" other then Metal Gear Solid? Seriously, whats better than going into action as a high speed combat robot ala Zone of the Enders? Lets not forget those creepy halucinations in Eternal Darkness or the time we wet our pants fighting rabid zombie dogs in Resident Evil, and Lunar, ohhh sweet Lunar, the sweet necter of song, dance, and sexual inneuendo! I rest my case and totally agree that this is the best videogame role for the intolerent attourney.
By the way, did you hear of that wacky story about Jack Thompson skipping out on a promised children's fund? I heard he made a stupid pledge to donate to charity if some game industry developer made a game about killing their company ceos.
Obviously, the major league companies could not deal with such frivolous matter. So some independent programmer made the premised game, distributed it to be downloaded off the internet, and demanded Jack pay his fair share of the deal, and Jack weaseled out of it. I guess his political strategy to undermine the morality of the gaming industry backfired and he only ended up demoralizing himself.

This is a fine prototype you have here.

For this simple platformer demo, you can use a jetpac to double jump, and yo can dissolve to avoid being burned, I like that.

Pico: Blamming Butt and Taking Ranks

This is pretty sweet fan movie/game you got here, I like it. Pico is upset that he is not in the top ranks despite being the Mascot of the Portal and sets out on a rampage to murder the posers that are wrongfully sitting on his throne. The first level is a riot, you practically commit a homicidal massacre on the cheery suburban streets of Lengendary Frog Land where you kill all his helpless non-hostile creations. I found it funny how easy it was considering it is a tutorial level based on the child like nature of Legendary Frog's "creativity and humor" and I just loved the Piconjo reference up upon the rooftops. Very challenging much later but rewarding thanks to the movies at the end of each level. I do have some problems with the finished product, considering that there is no back button visible when you die. The madness level can get monotonous after a few tries. The Super flash bros. levels feels flimsy. There also should have been levels based on Knox and Illwillpress, but overall, this flash is a great satire on popular NG Artists.

PivotGames responds:

ok We've been thinking about making a 'go back' button. You can press escape to do that though. I'm glad you played though the whole game before reviewing.
-Bas

Bonnafide Bomberman Ripoff: Too Close for Comfort!

This won the "Daily Feature". The Daily Feature is an award reserved for toons and games so awesome, that they break the barriers of simple flash art and design. Now, other then the interesting iplementation of author-made 3d models, this is nothing more then a simple game of age old Bomberman. Too bad we can't have an online net battle mode because the multiplayer mode requires 4 people on 4 sects of the same keyboard. This really helps in cramming and binding my face into the hairy bacteria hosting armpit bowels of a pal. It is hard to work my bomb planting techniques when you are bending over to one side or sharing the same chair with a rather fat associate. Did I just forget to mention our man palms get in the way of each others? That ruins control capability much more than the "reverse" Power down. This concludes a decision that we're better off against four dull/annoyingly smart CPUs by our lonely selves. Consider this game a great excuse for closet-bound individuals to rub against each other. Why does this entry have to overshadow the flock of NG when I've seen 4th prize winners that are much better and far more original then this. Why is everybody praising this game? It is just as confusing as "Box Head: The Rooms" a.ka. "That Simplistic Shooter About Shooting Domino Zombies and Barrels". Sure these are standard quality entries that deserve to pass through portal judgement, but goodness gracious! These need not all this unnecessary praise! I complement the author on swell action scripting and sickingly cute 3-d duploo people, but I'd rather play the original Bomberman with separate controllers that conviently separate our wonderful man bodies.

A Great Tool for the 8-bit Music Composers.

Mastery of the Atemis Controls can allow many authors at NG to create their own music. There is a large sample music section contained. The menu layout is professionally done as well.

Starburst997 responds:

Thank You !

No, This is not the Geometry Wars I Love.

The graphics capture a retro feel, although simplified. The Colors are neat and hypnotic. The spaceship looks like the one in the actual game. However, you fail in successfully emulating the feel and technical details of the treasured XBL Arcade classic. One would be that you can not fire your shots the same way you could in the original being as in the original shots were manualy controlled Robotron style. This version has shots fired automaticaly. I also must comment on your lack of enemy types. Geometry Wars had a slew of dangerous enemies; squares that divide when hit, Snake Chain barrier Circles, Home-on squares, Bee-like miro drones, Magnet asassins, Basic Diamond grunts, Spiraling uzamakis, and the gracious and merciless multiplier black hole. You omit these enemies for a ho-hum "Q". Overall, this is what Pac-Man for Atari 2600 is for the original. By the way I like the music.

It's Warioware meets Point Blank.

All minigames are done with the mouse. Two different linear game-styled storylines for each difficulty(Normal and Hard). Some of the artwork looked too amateurish, at least in other areas besides those certain nitpicky details on the character models, this flash has mostly a clean cut look. Overall, it definately captures the look, sound, and feel of classic bizarro quirk games.
By the way, there is some sort of a glitch in that memory game, the author should take note of that. When I shoot cards that I know which match, they keep flipping themselves over, even though I'am only shooting the cards that match. This is due to some time lapse error in where I have to wait until the cards are all face down before I can continue shooting.

A Good Tribute To Lemmings

...Except with mindless kamikaze students. Right down to the positive pace and the worker commands the author brings you a swell emulation of the Lemmings experience.

Abuse it for good, never for evil.

Age 37, Male

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