Alter-native's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[tWHYlight]

I Saw Previews Of This Thing, Seriously...

Vampires are supposed to be scary with an entrancing yet menacing appearance. They are also supposed to turn into bats, shadow mists, and wolves and go " Blah Blah! I want to suck your blood! Blah Blah!" And for Christ's sake, they should melt into wax and turn to dust when they are in freaking sunlight! Sure, vampires are gifted with supernatural abilities and with flight and possible immortality and all that, but most of that "gift" is actually a part of a large curse. They must shun away from sunlight, they can not taste the delicacies of Italian cuisine, they can not groom themselves in front of a mirror, and they are forced to drink the blood of living mammals. How is this pretty boy managing to thrive anyway? Vampires can't feel well unless the have a couple drops of blood. How does he manage to walk on two feet at all if he's not sucking? (Durr hurr hurr.) At the rate of this movie, they should have just reworked it and called the thing "Smallville: Nuclear Man's High School Crush". Yeah, it still would suck, but at least it would be appropriate.

Now, I have not read the book, but I do wonder if the author and especially the scriptwriter has a grasp of what a vampire is supposed to be. Because a vampire is what this pretty boy isn't. Writers are supposed to look things up in order to get an understanding of what they are writing about, and the writers are not doing their job. I know in today's world we have heard and watched so many stories involving vampires, that they have become cliche'. Now the natural thing to do, would be to twist the mythos to give it a fresh take. However, the way this movie is going is just not the way to twist the mythos, because it strays way too far from what a Vampire is supposed to be. Let me give you an example of good way to refresh the public image of a vampire. For instance, I've watched an anime series once called NightWalker, and it is about a vampire detective. Now this vampire in this anime see? He does not follow all the traditional aspects and notions that a vampire should have, but he follows just enough so that he can be considered a vampire. Now in order to thrive properly, he needs to drink blood. Which is no problem because he has this lovely lady assistant who offers him some of her blood. And so he takes little mosquito bites on her neck so as not to kill her. He sometimes does this while miraculously driving at the same time. Pretty cool, huh? When he does battle with nightmarish, otherworldly monsters, he bites his finger to draw a large amount of blood. The blood instantly crystallizes into a sword which he uses to slay all sorts of monsters. There was even a part where he had to save this young girls "life" by turning her into a vampire just like himself, and that is where a relationship begins between this vampire and this ordinary girl. So my point is that if Hollywood is still out of ideas and has to do a movie based on some property that is vampire related, they should do a NightWalker movie because it has plenty of original ideas. Hell, they'd be better off with a Hellsing movie because even Hellsing, as much the gunslinging anti-hero has been overdone, has a better grasp of what vampires are and what they should be.

Anyway I just wanted to say that your movie was decent but it did not totally rip this movie apart like I expected you to. It was still a bit funny nontheless.

Bobert-Rob responds:

I remembered about as much as I could from the movie, so this is the best I could do without going to see it again. And no, that's not going to happen. Thanks for watching!

[Genuine]

An Interactive Comic On Trendiness.

I admire your ambition, the click-a-panel-and-watch-a-scene-unfol d idea is not too shabby. Although I do not think that people will understand what it is at first. It took me about three seconds to figure out what it was when I found out I was supposed to click the panels to unfold the story. So I clicked them in proper left-to-right fashion. Now the artwork is no masterpiece, but it is standard enough. The characters are a little flat, but at least there was a lot of effort put into the backgrounds(buildings, streets, etc.) and I like that. The message of this entry is what I found to be the best part. So in short, I say you should refine your artistic abilities and gloss up your characters and buildngs with the use of light and shadow so that they don't look as flat. Of course you might want to practice on a blank template first.

yiautta responds:

Thanks; I know my art skills aren't absolutely wonderful, but I'm practicing. The art is a little bit flat, you're right. Like DanClement also said, the navigation is a little bit unregulated and confusing, but i had limited time and just went with an idea. I will definitely rework this when I have more time, improving the graphics and making it a little bit easier to navigate. Thank you for your constructive criticisms.

[All Your Life]

Poor Poor Mr. Polygon-Head

This is probably one of those kinds of entries with deep philosophical content that delves into the recesses of man's inner subconciousness and his psychological mysteries of his human condition of which I may never quite understand. Though the animation nevertheless, was well done, and the cradlish music fits too. I give some praise for the use of squiggley lines on clothing to give the illusion of wind resistence when a character is falling in the air. So let me get this straight, he falls into the sea, touches an armless stone mermaid with his stump arm, and evaporates? Well, hmmm.... hmmmm.... "Hmmm..." sums that up pretty nicely.

qstorm responds:

Thank you for leaving the only non-retarded review here (ie more than two lines)

Ha, it's more or less a generic love story (under layers of metaphors and bluish tint) than a deep philosophical concern. It does question the human psyche though...mainly because I don't care for most humans :p

[How to steal a flash-TUT]

Angry Faic is Pretty Awesome.

So yes, this flash is very simplistic but very effective. It jolts good memories of that previous Angry Faic rant where he thrashes on rip off authors who either make another tired cliche ridden madness flick and the "My Newgrounds" fad. I would never ever steal some one elses flash. Hopefully, as soon as I learn to draw figures well with a mouse, and color properly, I will release a flash and will not have to feel so guilty writing these reviews.

Fora responds:

Buy a pen tablet, works much better. And hopefully you'll get better then me:P

[The CTSG Collab!]

If This is Not The Best Music Vid of the Year...

...Then it might as well be a candidate,

My favorite part was the scene with that guy running and jumping from building to building. That was such a cool loop! He was trying to dodge that missle, yet, it eventually caught up with him. It fabulous really.

Rig responds:

Silly man. When will he learn that you can't outrun Catoblepas? :D
Thanks for the review!

[LeetStreet Boys Manga 03]

Listen, Keenspot Is Where You Wanna Go.

Newgrounds is for "animated" toons and games. It's not a place for uploading webcomics. If you insist though, please do us a favor and upload your comic with all the pages from within. That's right, upload all your pages and make neat little "next and back" buttons in the corner so that we can "flip" pages. Do not up load each page individually. Now I'll review this page. It is just a bunch of cherry tree blossoms floating amongst a white backround. Nothing special about this page.

"Leetstreet Boys" huh? Yeah I remember them, they made that Music vid full of video game and anime references. Yeah, it opened up with a riff stolen from the FF VII world map and it told us how "you and me make nintendo wii".

leetstreetboys responds:

There was a mistake in the first upload. Fixed. Sorry about that!

[Animalation episode 1]

Animation Was Cheap, But the Joke Was Good.

That's about it, good luck on the next entry.

JohnLorique responds:

cheap... didn't think was so cheap.

[Happy Smile]

I Hope That Yellow Liquid Was Lemonade...

Yeah, well, like I said above, that all my thought other then "decent animation".

MasterNoud responds:

haha!!
It is(I think...o.O )

[Bad Baby]

ERK! Thy Brain ist SaboTaGed!

With the guy cutting the baby and the propeller ceiling fan eye in space and the pretty lady(WITH WORMS!!!!) who's just standing there but gets pwnt by a missile with yellow man gunk inside it because she did not care to look at the sign! and oh! The flying donkey businessmen and that snake neck man and dead baby's head is on a stick and there's walking meaty nugget body with a bone sticking out of it, the pirahhna plant and the four legged dinos. GASMASK MOON! As the Alien boy is walking amonst the plains and the smiling faces and ohhh the laughing, make it stop, mommy! make it stop! aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

In short, it was cool...

Catoblepas responds:

GASMASK MOON!